But now that the sun setsWasn’t it a perfect storm?
The thing about the whole getting drunk thing that really bothers me now is not so much that it happened. Granted there are things about it that I don’t like, but overall I don’t care. It has driven me nuts the way so many of the people I know react to the information with an awkward “hmmmm…..well…..that’s not good” and look down with awkward disapproval. So this is what it feels like to be on the outside, I have always felt like an outsider but usually people don’t seem to notice it. This time they did. The only people who seem to be at all amused are Elaine, Ryan, Stacy, and my dad. This was a new experience and of course I want to talk about. Why then do these people insist on acting as though I wronged them or embarrassed them in some way? The only people I embarrassed were myself and Stacy. Then-in is my only regret. So Stacy if you read this here is my apology.
1. I’m sorry I got so hammered I wasn’t able to look out for you. Next time we go out, I’ll stay sober enough that we can look out for each other.
2. When I left I am really sorry I didn’t make sure you were ok for getting home yourself, which was negligent.
3. Lastly I’m sorry I ended our night at 11. The U2 cover band hadn’t even come out yet and I regret it largely because I had such a good time with you I wish it could have lasted longer.
That, as far as I am concerned, is the only thing that needs apology and the only thing I feel bad about.
3 comments:
"It has driven me nuts the way so many of the people I know react to the information with an awkward “hmmmm…..well…..that’s not good” and look down with awkward disapproval."
I'm sort of surprised that you expected much else, Jeff. Actually, I don't believe for a second that you thought it would turn out any differently. I think it was the hope that they might understand being dashed that has driven you nuts. I can understand that. After 5, 10, 15, 20, whatever years you are right to hope that people would understand.
Frankly, you have people around you that wear a cloak of hyper-religiosity and call it Christianity. Now I'm assuming you were looked down upon because of Biblical principles, or the appearance of them. Let's investigate this:
1. After 26 years of blessed sobriety, Jeff got drunk. Is that contrary to Biblical principles? No. The Bible talks about alcoholism, not a single night where you have more regrets than anything else. Knowing you, I doubt you would ever drink that much again. Now if this was an everyday occurance then we would be having a different conversation.
2. I'm sure someone would pull the ol' "always be prepared to give an answer...", and rip it completely out of context so that it had something to do with this situation when it is about doing good in the face of evil. It has no bearing here.
3. "Your body is a temple" rule. This is the alcohol is bad for the body reason. Of course, studies have shown that wine and beer can have good physical responses. Like most things, alcohol taken in large quantity can be a health hazard. And as "Super Size Me" taught us, so can a Big Mac. Yet there is little stigma attached to a drive-thru window.
4. Running out of the veil they hide behind they will undoubtedly turn to the issue of safety. Indeed, a state of intoxication has it's perils. But is being in a safe bar, in a safe town with a ton of other people more dangerous than say... driving in rush hour traffic? I'd take a few hours drunkenness in a bar over Los Angeles freeways any day. Jeff did the right thing, he called for a ride. He didn't try to drive home and risk putting himself and other in danger.
Now that we are out of any real excuses, let's get to the heart of the issue. People don't like what Jeff did because they think it looks bad. They just don't want to say that because they, rightly, know that it makes their beliefs hollow. I said early that Jeff should have known better the responses he would get. If Jeff is to be reprimanded in any way it is for breaking a different Biblical principal:
Romans 14
"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand."
If you are reading this and feel what Jeff has done is wrong then you are the weaker brother. You aren't the first and you won't be the last. Don't feel bad about it, just know that you are. Jeff, you should know who will feel your story is offensive and probably not share it with them. I know the reason you shared it is because you want them to be close to you. To know who you are. For the weaker brother/sister, this means they will not get the privilege of knowing all of you. That is a shame. Perhaps when they accept more of their God given freedom they can.
Ryan
Pastor, Teacher, Preacher, Chaplain, and Zookeeper
BA Biblical Studies
Masters of Divinity
All Around Raconteur
... What he said. :)
Rybear, once again I commend you for your amazing analytical skill and your ability to put things into perspective. I quite agree.
Now, Jeff: I would say that getting drunk is unwise, and it does of course bear a certain social stigma, especially in Christian communities. But "wrong" meaning sinful, no. I'd not recommend it, but then I would never recommend eating at McDonald's either. :) Definitely sucks the morning after, I'm sure, and there's always the risk of doing stupid stuff when you're under the influence. But it sounds like you were a fairly mild-mannered drunk. :)
As you know, I found your tale of inebriation quite amusing, and I thought you told it well. I'll defend you against finger-pointers! Just not as eloquently and intelligently as the Rybear.
I think rybear put it really well! Your night actually sounded calm compared to so many of the "Christians" that went to SPU with me. It's not their place to judge, just remember 1 Cor 4:4, one of my favs!
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