They referred to me as the “all-American guy” and said that they thought I looked like I was 12.
Now any ladies out there what the hell does the idiom “all American guy” even mean?
I take it to be somewhat derogatory. It seems to me that it more or less says that I fit a stereotypical image, one that they had no interest in. After all when they came to the register they didn’t talk to me more than what was required to purchase their items. Furthermore in the present political climate, any thing all-American is generally regarded fairly poorly.
Elaine said that it probably meant that I was “attractive in a common way, lacking any distinguishing or memorable features” and thus replaceable.
I have always been replaceable and was the guy who the girls never noticed, and usually when girls were asking the guys with me to go places with them I was left out. That to say this situation is normal. I told Elaine about it and she pointed out that what would it have mattered if they asked me out to happy hour anyway. I agree I would have said that I was married and that would have been the end of it, but we all want to feel attractive.
I think that guys need to feel attractive just as much as girls do; they just gain that feeling in different ways. For Elaine that fact that I think she is gorgeous is completely enough to fill her need to be beautiful. For me the fact that she thinks I am good looking is enough to make me content. But for me, and I would argue for many men, that a portion of feeling attractive is having the spousal opinion confirmed by outside sources. I don’t dress to impress anyone else and I don’t flirt or anything of that nature with anyone but my wife, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be attractive enough to be noticed by others. The thing about that feeling is it’s hard to explain to your wife without her feeling like you want the attention of other women. See it sounds paradoxical but there is a difference between attention and acknowledgement. I am happily married and love my wife and I don’t want other women trying to focus attention on me, it would just be nice to know that others find me attractive.
The reason I put so much detail into this was just that it’s hard to explain and this is the sort of conversation bull that will trample you straight to death. Caution is required.
I don’t know. For the guys reading this, was I somewhat accurate?
Oh and this is the second time a woman has believed me to be around 12 or 13.
Ladies and gentleman, submitted for your approval, a all-American guy having a all-American Christmas with his all-American family…in an all-American apron.
10 comments:
You should tell them about the time you got carded for buying root beer!! :)
Oh he has Elaine, check out Thursday, December 7, 2006: "Tomorrow night I dine at what my dad has dubbed the oriental fish heaven"
Jeff, maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. When they said you looked like an "All American Guy" maybe they referred to www.allamericanguys.com. A website jam packed with male models that you could easily be mistaken for, what with your rock hard pecs and giant man nipples. They were too intimadted to ask you out, too afraid of the let down when you told them you needed to go work out instead.
So, Jeff, did Ryan confirm Elaine's attraction to you?
And WHAT 12-year-old has facial hair???
It's true, I do want to pinch your cheeks, but it's not that you look 12, it's the "Eric's Big Sister" in me. I want to pinch Ryan's cheeks, too. Sad, but true. (Yes, boys, facial cheeks. If you don't want to LOOK 12, don't THINK 12!)
i'm with you, dude. and for the record, i've always thought you were a smokin' hottie.
Maybe it's just that I'm one of the more shallow girls around, but I think that what you're saying applies to guys and girls alike. Perhaps the "problem" (if you want to call it that) arises when we mistakenly assume an S.O. is biased (because they aren't really "allowed" to find us unattractive).
What you need to do is change your thinking, here... Elaine's being married to you is not a sign of her blind bias for your dashing good looks... it's merely evidence of her fantastically good taste.
*nods*
I agree heartily, Rose!
Besides, I wouldn't marry an ugly bumpkin.
Does that mean I'm shallow?
jeff, gotta admit this post made me laugh. If you want your eyes opened a lil, i'll let you in on a secret. Back when we were in high school, you were one of the guys the girls talked about. A lot of chics thought you were hot and none of em had the guts to tell ya cause you were always taken (another sign u were good lookin).
As far as today goes, its been awhile since i seen ya, so i'm no judge, but the fact that you've been married for a few years means that you were snatched up quickly. Had you been still single and told this story, then yeah, it might be a lil more sad. I know what ya mean though, i feel that way frequently and yeah, its always different coming from your husband, or in your case, your wife.
Well thank you all. I am flattered.
So, thoughts on the apron?
I think it perfectly joins the essences of domestic tranquility and masculinity.....and its got a cute little kitten.
; )
The apron's awesome. You definitely have to be comfortable with your masculinity before you can wear something like that...so your manliness doesn't feel threatened by it. That's why I like it when guys where pink button up shirts. If they can do that and still be manly, they are a true man. Or they're gay. But either way, the pink shirt looks good. I admire that you wore the apron. And for what it's worth, as far as your age goes, I think if you were on the unfiltered internet station at the library and I didn't know you, I'd probably card you. But the whole time I was carding you, I'd be thinking "he's probably in his twenties, but I better card him just in case so I don't get in trouble with the boss."
I should point out to Elaine that it's never a good idea to wear an apron (or anything, for that matter) bearing the word "ho." :) But the kitten apron, now that's just dead sexy.
Jeffrey, you should have learned by now not to start what you can't finish. And you can never win this fight against me. "Wah wah, I made out with lots of girls before I met my wife, but some random stupid chicks who want to both party until they vomit and stay beautiful and desirable and twenty for the rest of their lives didn't immediately jump my ignorant bones!" Yeah. You lose. :)
Seriously though, I know what you mean about that desire for confirmation. Kind of a "my mom says I'm handsome" sort of thing; sometimes you want people who don't love you unconditionally to agree with the people who do. And to the best of my knowledge, I've only gotten that confirmation once in my life, at the peak of my physical appearance back in high school. But that's another story.
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