This couple comes into aquatics and says they want some fish. So I say ok which ones you want. They walk over to a tank that has Marble Platys and Sunset Platys. Below the tank are two huge placards with the fish’s names and pictures. Now as you would guess the Sunset Platys are red and orange and the Marble Platys are white and black. So they say that they want a Marble Platy and I point to the picture and say “ok, so one of these then.” I capture the fish and when they walk back over they take one look at it and say “Oh no, not that one. It’s not orange.” Just brilliant, eh? After that the following occurred.
Man: “Oh and we want two of these.” *Gesturing vaguely at a tank holding Neon Tetra’s and Ghost Shrimp*
Me: “Ok, so do you want two Neon Tetras or two Ghost shrimp?”
Man: “Oh I don’t know which it is. I should ask my wife” *glancing around for his wife who was wandered off*
Me: “Ok so is it one of these?” *pointing to a sign under the tank that says Neon Tetra in big letters with a picture of the fish next to it*
Man: “I don’t know. I want two of the things with blue and red on them.”
Me: “Neon Tetras then, let me get those for you.”
-What I was thinking but didn’t say-
“Good lord man! Can’t you tell the difference between a shrimp and a fish?!! One is a flipping crustacean and the other has flipping fins!!! And what type of ghost anything is decked out in bright red and blue!!?? And why can’t you see the signs, are you picture illiterate?!! How do you have a fish tank, when you seem to be fuzzy on what a fish is to begin with??!!”
Ok and customer conversation number two.
Lady: “Excuse me, where is the Chinchilla food?”
Me: “Oh, its right over here. Let me show you.”
Lady: *Looks at the picture of a chinchilla on the food package* “That’s not what I have.”
Me: *thinking to myself “fan-fricking-tabulous”*
Lady: “What’s that thing right there?” *pointing to the picture of a Gerbil*
Me: “That is a Gerbil.”
Lady: “Yeah, that’s what I have.”
Me: “Well in that case the food is right over here. Can I print you off a care sheet for Gerbils as some extra material for you?”
Lady: “No thanks, if they are anything like Hamsters I know exactly how to take care of them.”
- What I left thinking but not saying-
Ok, I’ve got an hour left on my shift and I am really tired so good luck with your pet Hambil. I could get you a care sheet or perhaps a small animal identification field guide but you seem to have it covered so carry on.
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5 comments:
So far, I think Lucy can identify more animals than your customers... and no, I don't want anything that can hurt her, thank you very much!
Oh come on, who doesn't want to feel the sensation of having one's hand flayed by a lionfish's neurotoxin? Can life get better? I submit that it cannot!
Ooh! Ooh! This is fun! Here are a few of my recent favorites from the library.
Librarian: Yes, we're moving to a temporary location while they remodel our existing location.
Patron: Oh! Will there be bathrooms there?
And I'm thinking no, you'll have to pee on the bushes out front. Of all the questions to ask, why bathrooms?! Why not ask where the temporary location is, or how long library service will be disrupted? Noooo, all you care about is that you have a place to relieve yourself.
Here's another:
Patron: I need the bathroom key.
Librarian: The keys are hanging on the sign right here in front of you that says "Bathroom Keys" on it.
Patron: But the key isn't there.
Librarian: That means someone must be using it and you'll have to wait until they get back.
Patron: Oh. Do you know how long they'll be in there?
And I want to say, "No, but let me go check." Then I want to go pound on the door and yell that they better hurry up in there because someone else wants in to do their business.
-c
Holy crap, I almost peed myself laughing reading Jeff and Cherie's customer conversations.
I'm glad I work in a field where I don't have to talk to anybody.
Wow...
Set the building on fire.
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