Truth Of My Youth

It’s 11:30 and I’m sitting alone downstairs. I should be cleaning, or beginning the process of moving furniture back into the upstairs but instead I am here glancing at old friends blogs and myspace pages asking myself why I bother anymore. Generally at some point history becomes irrelevant, and a lot of what we deem history is merely imagined or experienced only within ourselves.
Were I left to myself I would have eaten out tonight and rented Dragon Wars and gotten tanked alone eating caramel-toffee scones in the basement. Elaine says I have fallen out of the habit of being alone since California. She’s partially right. I know it’s been years, but I miss nights where the party never really ended you just joined with different groups over the course of it.
This I suppose puts an odd counterpoint to the fact that I started my Master’s classes. I had planned to begin to get journal articles together and begin on any one of a handful of major papers and presentations required by my classes. I am stressed out about this graduate deal and I am desperate to do really well in these classes. The thing holding me till Monday is my ability to access both the online content of my classes and the libraries journal network expired and I can’t restart it over the phone. Meaning on Monday I have to walk into the college network overlord’s basement. “Can I have a new password?” “Oh sure…..sit over there for an hour and then I’ll give you a sixteen digit binary code that will be impossible for you to remember and I am unwilling to write down.”
I have been trying to write down the stories I created in my head but its slow going and the results are disappointing.
My time has been consumed by home improvement projects and now that that is winding down I think it will take another three days before I even begin to feel settled in my own home again.

I need to go and clean the basement…..*sigh*

The morning after

So this is the new year.

And i don't feel any different.

The clanking of crystal

Explosions off in the distance.

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions

For self assigned penance

For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on

Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once

Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn

As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days

Then i could travel just by folding a map

No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.