Lights out, shoot up the station

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I present to you, for your enjoyment, an internet radio station that kicks ass. All you do is type in a band or a song and it makes a whole radio station that plays similar music. It’s worth a look.

Also, I am a janitor no more. After a mere two months they found a replacement of dubious quality. But I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. By the way if anyone is interested in the meaning of the phrase I will enlighten you.....

It is fairly clear one shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth because it would be rude to do so. Understanding the origin of the phrase further expands on meaning. There are two possible sources for the phrase “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” Both suggest it is impolite to inspect a horse’s teeth, which generally is a good indication of age and value. The receiver of the gift horse should instead prove him or herself grateful instead of trying to instantly examine the worth of the horse.

Now my only job is to get into a grad program...then once I am in find a new part time, degree correlated job. It never ends, I spend this life allways in transit.

You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?

Good news on the procreation front. Our doctor, who rocks, has identified the problem. Apparently there is a critical low of progesterone. Thankfully the treatment is simple and 97% effective. Elaine will take supplementary doses until the placenta takes over and that should carry the pregnancy to term. Knowing the cause, and thus knowing that we can fix it makes this soooo much easier. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

The quiet things that no one ever knows

I had a dream yesterday afternoon. I dreamt that I had three fish tanks and all the tanks were connected by a series of tunnels. I was watching the tanks trying to make sure the fish were ok. For some reason a squid had gotten into the tanks. Since they were freshwater tanks I watched in disbelief thinking that the squid couldn’t survive in the tanks but the squid showed no adverse effects. I watched helpless as the squid moved quickly into the farthest tank on the left. In that tank were two dwarf Gourami’s they were both weak and the squid immediately pounced on them and ate them both as I pounded on the lid of the tank trying futilely to make it stop. Once the squid had finished with the fish it buried itself into the sand on the bottom of the tank apparently waiting for another fish to swim in. I grabbed the tank and sloshed it around trying to get the squid to swim out. My actions only stirred up the sand and revealed the body of a small sculpin that had died previously. The squid had only been temporarily dislodged from the sand and it reached over and grabbed the fish, a previous victim I believe, and reburied itself. Then I woke up then leaving the dream with the undying squid in the sand waiting and me powerless to do anything about it.
The meaning of the dream is simple. The fish are my children, the tank is my wife and the squid is the nameless undying thing that takes my children each in succession.
This is our second miscarriage. They were twins, most likely identical. I never thought about twins and indeed I never knew I had any particular desire for twins until they told us Elaine was carrying twins. I realized immediately that it was something I wanted and probably always had wanted. Identical twins especially were a hearts desire I never knew I had until now. It makes the loss all the more heartbreaking. It is a 1 in 100 chance to have twins, 1 in 100. To achieve and lose that is like winning an important contest and then finding out a week latter that because of a technicality the prize was sent back to the manufacturer. My initial response was despair and rage. Now I am just spent.
My feeling now is best summed up in the verse “Though he slay me yet I will follow Him.” But sometimes it’s so bitter…so bitter.

So keep the blood in your head

And keep your feet on the ground

If today's the day it gets tired

Today's the day we drop out