Friday, July 20, 2007

Come break me down. Bury me, Bury me


Does it bother anyone else when a company does a donations drive that runs some thing like this? "Beaverton Cycles will donate 5,000 dollars to a wonderful charity just as soon as we sell fifteen motorcycles!!" My company Petco does the same sort of thing. Oh yeah they donate money but most of the donations come from customer generosity rather than out of corporate income. It just seems to me that if these people really had any interest in actual donating they would just give the money. The new trend is profit motivated giving. I suppose since profit margins drive almost all decisions in this world I shouldn’t be terribly surprised. But these companies act merely as middle men moving money from the consumer to a charity only if their cut is large enough. Not to say that Petco or other companies don't do some good things but it comes across as merely a means to increase their own status and secure more profits. If they care enough to give, they should give from their profits, and give without trying to use their donations as a pedestal to elevate themselves.
Yes profit motivates everything in this culture, even relationships. I mean think about it, the frequency of divorce can be used as an example. Though the single greatest cause is most likely unchecked selfishness another common one would be people who enter marriage in the belief that it will make them happy, provide some emotional of security benefits. And in a healthy marriage it will, but you can't expect your marriage to succeed if you are in it for your own edification. Someday your pursuit of your own benefit will cause a collapse (which in our modern climate means divorce). You have to come to a marriage as you should come to a charity, you give freely of yourself without looking for a way to profit yourself. Seek first the benefit of others and your life will afford you more pleasures than any other path, but do it for those around you. It will be hard and therefore worth doing. We all want to live and die with honor and this is how.

I can't respect the current corporate giving structure. It surprises me that so many people don’t see through it.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Most of you know that I am adopted. I generally never speak of it and it hasn’t been particularly important in my life. I am not one of those people who obsess about the situation. The only thing being adopted has left me with is a feeling of mild debt. I often feel like I owe the girl who decided first to give birth to me and then to put me up for adoption a thank you. The only thing I know about her was she was 16ish, unmarried, lived in Portland and kept me for a week before giving me up. I have known some complete idiots who resent their birth mother. How stupid is that, she realized she couldn’t provide any good outs for me so instead of dooming us both or killing me she gave me the best possible chance for some sort of success. At any rate that’s all I know about her. I have come to a point where I just wish there was a way that I could let her know that I appreciate not being killed, and give her a very brief account of myself. I wish I had a name and picture or something about her. I don’t want to really have a second family; I don’t even really want to do anything more than just a brief interaction. But there it is. I have no way of doing any of this of course and I suppose it isn’t so bad as I don’t want the complications of having to treat anyone else as family.
The only reason I bring this up is that a few days ago while doing some mercenary birthday shopping for a friend at borders something odd happened.

I was in the CD section cruising along and this guy who worked there glanced over and saw me and acted like he recognized me. Not a “he looks familiar” reaction but a full “it’s my favorite cousin I haven’t seen in years” look. So he comes over and says that I look exactly like a friend of his he used to know in Illinois. In fact I had a striking resemblance according to him to the gentleman in questions whole family. He tells me the guys name is Brandon and asks if I have family in Illinois. I still recovering say that I don’t know if I do. And he mentions that the family has ties in Chicago and do I have relatives there which of course I don’t know. I mean this guy is near convinced that I must be related to the family and after a few minutes of conversation he shakes my hand and walks away bemused at my similarity in appearance to Brandon.

Do I have blood relatives in Illinois? Do I have a brother, a clone, or possible a visible match in a man named Brandon? Could there be some town in another state over-run with Jeff look a likes? Is the lady who birthed my still alive and did she pass through Chicago?
I have no clue.
Coincidence, design, or simply a guy who wasn’t that good with faces making an error.
That is the weirdest thing for me about being adopted.
We're the kids who feel like dead ends

We're the kids you used to love
But then we grew old


We're the lifers here till the bitter end
Condemned from the start